It Takes a Community

Last evening Hannah and I were discussing the dynamics of friendship. And she said something that I found to be rather profound. "I don't really believe in independence, I believe in interdependence." We spoke of the dangers of flying solo, being caught up in the self. How humanity was not meant to live alone, and yet the dangers of codependence can be just as devastating. When we require another to provide us with the entirety of our self worth, we subject one another to unrealistic expectations. She posed instead a third way. Interdependence. The mutual exchange of love, value, respect which we experience most healthfully in groups. It reminded me of a wonderful C.S. Lewis quote I had read.

This  quote can be found in Lewis’ book The Four Loves in an essay entitled “Friendship.”
The quote is a reflection on the loss of his friend Charles Williams, one of the famous intellectual groups, "The Inklings."

“In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out. By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets. Now that Charles is dead, I shall never again see Ronald’s [Tolkien’s] reaction to a specifically Charles joke. Far from having more of Ronald, having him “to myself” now that Charles is away, I have less of Ronald…In this, Friendship exhibits a glorious “nearness by resemblance” to heaven itself where the very multitude of the blessed (which no man can number) increases the fruition which each of us has of God. For every soul, seeing Him in her own way, doubtless communicates that unique vision to all the rest. That, says an old author, is why the Seraphim in Isaiah’s vision are crying “Holy, Holy, Holy” to one another (Isaiah 6:3). The more we thus share the Heavenly Bread between us, the more we shall have.”

Therefore, we could suggest that our commitment, love, and interaction with others brings out the truest self. In a world where the institution of Church has wrought so much pain, we wonder, "why not forfeit it all together." This pearl reminds us why we are called into community.  not simply with those who agree with us, like us, respect us, but with all people. That our thought may be challenged, that our intellect might be sharpened, that our wit might be honed, and ultimately that our love might abound.